obladi-oblada-143:

but secretly, I’m still hoping for it to stumble into my life ♥

I’m just confused as to what I want.

kiri-kat:

It just hurts so bad…..

numbuhs:

I’m glad at times like these: Times when I can’t seem to find reality and fade into all my dark thoughts, that I have no one to talk to. I hate talking to people, they always want to try to understand and label my feelings. The less I talk to people the better. I begin to control my thoughts and figure my problems. Problem is as I do that, I’m not sure if I’m giving myself the correct answer. Thus I fall into a cycle of never sadness.

So on point from start to finish

Where am I right now?  I am in the mist of telling myself that I talking to myself cause there is no one else to talk to.  I have been in this little funk trying to figure so many things out and it seems no one else is really paying me any attention.  Yes i see that everyone has things going on and they are expecting me to be all ears for them and when it comes down to me its really a blur.  I have to make sure that everyone that I try to keep a hold of is happy and all the great shit but what makes me happy.  What is going to make me happy at the end of the day is so questionable.  i dont know what makes me truly happy or who for that matter.  I do for that I am but it is not me.  I am talking to myself I know.  If I could rewind time I wonder how far would I go, how far do I need to go to be happy.  I sit and hang with someone that gives me some attention but I dont know what that attention is.  its really kind of confusing as to what I am doing and what i am doing it for.  Am i doing this cause I want something or cause I need something.  There is a real disconnect and I dont know where to find it or place it but I know it is there.  I think I need to find something new.  Something new like a new lifestyle and some new friends that can hold my attention and that can relate to me.  No one understands me!  Wow I think that is it.  No one understands me cause they dont want to.  TBC….